very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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