So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
