just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
