Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
