i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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