i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
