I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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