Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
