I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
