I bet he comes in French.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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