i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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