it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
