Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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