i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
