IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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