Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
