walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
