And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
