Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
