Just fell off a train. Bad.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
