I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
