airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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