So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
