thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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