Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
