You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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