she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
