there was a trapeze. enough said
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
