Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
