Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
