Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Every concussion has its silver lining
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
