I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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