What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
