I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My pussy is not your playground.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize