Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
