I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
