You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
