Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think your dad took our porno
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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