Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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