I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize