I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
