Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
