You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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