He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
