doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
two words...techno handjob
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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