Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I showed him my bush... on skype.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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