Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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