if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
