so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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