she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
