Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just want nice things and good sex
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
