tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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