I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
