does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
