He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
