I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
