Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
