Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
