So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
