I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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