I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
