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Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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